Kirameki, minna-san. Does anyone want to know how me and Kouta-kun and Mamoru-chan met? Go on, I bet you do ^_^ Look, if you follow that little link below you'll get to read it (and it's in pretty-pretty colours too ^_^)... But it's very long ^_^
Remus was dancing about the room, earphones in, but the volume was up so high everyone could hear what he was listening to (the Velvet Goldmine soundtrack). His clothes had already been put away neatly, though his bed was covered in glittery make-up and various CD's. It should also be noted that he was wearing a hot-pink mini-dress and electric blue platform boots. Catching a glimpse of something out of the corner of his eye, he paused in his spinning to look at the annoyed boy he assumed he'd sharing a room with. Removing one of his earphones he tilted his head quizzically and held out a perfectly manicured hand, complete with vivid blue nail polish, a bright smile on his painted lips and in his grey-lilac eyes. "Kirameki," he chirped happily, "I'm Remus Black. Who're you? Do you like glitter and sparklies too?" He indicated flippantly to the mess on his bed.
Shinohara Koutarou looked doubtfully at the boy opposite him. This was his new room mate? There had to be some sort of mistake, he couldn't possibly move in with this...cross-dressing baka. He couldn't! "Is this really room 484?"
Remus nodded happily, though his eyes were more wary now. "Yup yup, 484!" The look in the other boy's eyes was starting to making him nervous, it was almost as disgusted as his dad's used to be when... No! He wasn't going to think about that! Dad was miles away in England, with mum and the girls, he couldn't do anything to him here. And anyway, there was something about this boy that Remus just...liked. He continued holding his hand out to the newcomer, and brightened his smile. An automatic reaction that, to pull his masks on tighter when he was uncomfortable. "What's your name? Are you my new room mate?"
Kouta nodded slightly in response. "Konnichiwa, I guess. My name is Shinohara Koutarou, I'll be your new dorm mate. Don't get your mess on my side of the room." He stalked over to the space that was now cluttered with...glittery shiny things and placed his bags on the more-or-less neatly made bed. He wrinkled his nose slightly and started unpacking straight away. He hated mess, this did not bode well with him at all.
Remus blinked. "Bugger," he swore softly in English, he'd screwed things up already, and he'd barely been there two hours. Taking a hint from his new room mate he gathered up his CD's and started arranging them all alphabetically. When he was done with them he moved on to the make-up, ordering it all by size and colour, very methodically. His fingers linger over a few of the things his mother had given him before he left, remembering good times with her. When he was finished with his tidying (and he is very neat despite his ditzy exterior), he glanced nervously at his room mate, studying him from behind a curtain of pink hair. "So..." he started, unsure of what to say, a very rare occurrence. "What instrument do you play?" Perhaps not the best question to ask, but surely it wouldn't get his head bitten off.
Kouta wondered why his room mate had suddenly started rushing about wildly. Maybe he…? Kouta blinked in surprise. No one had ever done anything so thoughtful for him before. Maybe this new boy was... No! He had to have an ulterior motive. No one could be that kind! Especially not to him! Kouta wondered briefly how he should respond to the taller boy. He had to make sure that this Remus guy wasn't going to hurt him, and yet he didn't want to hurt the other boy either. "I sing," he said simply. He turned back to his unpacking, smoothing the school shirts and blazers, placing them all away neatly in the wardrobe put there just for that purpose. He then took out his hoard of mangas and CD's and placed them all neatly stacked on the shelf beside his bed.
Remus brightened even more at the sight of all the manga. "Oooh," he indicated to the neat piles on the shelf, "What ones do you read? I haven't read many, 'cos we don't get a lot in England -- that's where I'm from y'know? -- and I always want to read more!!!" He paused for breath, smiling sheepishly. "I talk too much sometimes."
"Yes well, I've lived in Japan all my life so..." Kouta paused and handed out a few to his new room mate, he may as well extend his hand in friendship. He needed to know people here. He just couldn't get to close to them. "You can borrow these if you want. I've read them already." Kouta frowned slightly down at one of the covers and quickly hid it back into his bag. "Here." He shoved the books at his new room mate. "Enjoy."
Remus took the books without looking at them, and smiled brightly at his new friend. Perhaps this new image, this new life wasn't going to be so bad after all. "Thanks. Do you want to borrow any of my stuff?" he waved a hand towards the neat rows of make-up, the alphabetically ordered CD's and two guitars on his side of the room.
Kouta looked at now orderly mess before him and resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose, although his eyes lightened upon seeing the guitars and make-up before they shuttered again abruptly. Never again. He sighed. "Maybe some other time." He sat on his neatly made bed and let out a slight yawn. Travelling all night had made him feel so tired.
Shrugging, Remus placed the earphones back into his ears, smiled at the other boy and flopped onto his stomach. Humming along to the music he reached for one of the manga Kouta had loaned him and started to read, careful not to damage the pages.
Frowning in annoyance at the irritating humming and loud music Kouta lay down on his bed, determined to ride it out. A few minutes later he turned over. "Please turn your music down." He waited a few minutes, he had patience. Only a little but it was still there.
Remus, not hearing the request, calmly turned the pages of Kouta's manga, but after a few moments his natural consideration kicked in and he pulled out one earphone. "Is this to loud?"
Kouta gave a loud sigh of annoyance and resisted the urge to yell at the baka opposite him. "Yes, it is," he said instead, more or less calmly. "Please turn it down."
Remus shut of the music completely, he was getting bored of that song anyway, put the manga to one side before clambering off the bed, slipping slightly in his platform shoes. He stretched slightly and moved to pick up his acoustic guitar, before turning to look at Kouta again, "Do you mind?" he asked, indicating to the instrument.
Deciding it was probably the lesser of two evils Kouta nodded and looked around the room, wondering what time it was now. He'd arrived at eight, so it had to be at least nine now. He briefly looked back into his suitcase and blushed slightly, wondering how he could hide all his yaoi manga from his new room mate. Where could he put them in the room where they would stay hidden?
Smiling gently Remus picked up the guitar, closed his eyes and started to play a soft, slow tune. There was something about this music that soothed his soul and made him feel better about life, even if it sounded so sad to everyone else, and he hoped it would do the same for his obviously troubled room mate.
Kouta was surprised by the beautiful music coming from his companion's guitar. It was...soothing. He could feel his eyelids getting heavier and knew it would soon send him to sleep. He cast a wary glance at his room mate but noticed his eyes were closed and quickly undressed to his boxer shorts and T-shirt before climbing into bed with a sigh. He missed sleep.
Glancing up through slitted eyes, Remus watched his room mate sink into sleep, waiting until the deep, even breathing indicated that he wouldn't wake before putting down the guitar. He could probably do with some sleep himself, but was unwilling to do so, so early. In an effort to distract himself he carefully removed all traces of make-up from his face, frowning at the vulnerable boy the mirror revealed, and changed his out of his feminine outfit and into flared jeans and a skin-tight pink t-shirt. After a moment's thought he grabbed his diary from the drawer under his desk and wrote about the day's events.
He was back in his house, no! He didn't want to be here. He tossed in his sleep, letting out murmurs and cries, unbeknownst to his sleeping self. It hurt... so bad... Why did it always have to hurt?
Remus looked up from the leather-bound book he'd been writing in as his room mate cried out in his sleep. Should he wake the other boy? Or would that just make him panic more? He knew if it had been him, he would have wanted to be woken, but this boy...
Kouta let out another cry in his sleep, huddling tighter together, making himself into a ball. He had to protect himself, he was the only one who could. No one else would. Tears gathered in closed eyes, gathering there but not being shed. Why…?
Taking a deep breath, Remus decided that he should wake Kouta. The nightmare sounded pretty bad after all. "Kouta-kun?" he shook the other boy gently, "Kouta-kun, wake up"
Kouta woke up to the feel of his body being shaken. He looked up through blurry eyes and saw the outline of another boy. He let out a slight cry of panic and backed up quickly, huddling against the very end of his bed.
Remus was startled by Kouta's reaction, reaching out a hand to the other boy in a gesture of comfort, "Hey, it's ok, Kouta-kun, it's just me, Remus," he spoke softly, afraid to spook the boy any more.
Kouta came back to himself quickly at the sound of Kouta-kun. He would never call him that, ever. He looked into the gentle eyes of his new room mate and blushed a deep red. Kami-sama, now he'd made a complete fool of himself in front of this new person, a possible friend maybe? Damn. "K'uso."
Seeing the person he'd met return to the other boy's eyes, Remus smiled. "My mum always told me swearing was for the uncouth, y'know. And I'm sorry I had to wake you, you were having a nightmare. I hope it wasn't to bad." He paused for a moment, trying to think of something to say to reassure the other boy. "I get them too y'know, really bad ones sometimes," he hugged himself slightly, eyes young and haunted, "It hurts."
Kouta blinked at the taller boy beside his bed and his eyes softened before visibly hardening. He was not going to let himself feel sorry for the other boy. No way in hell, no. "Too bad," he turned away and wondered what he was going to do now. He couldn't stay in this room anymore.
Remus' eyes widened slightly at the other boy's harsh comment, tears he refused to let fall forming in their depths. Before his companion could see any sign of them he turned on his heel, grabbed his diary, a pen and his coat and walked out the room, not sure where he was heading, just as long as Kouta wasn't there to see him cry.
Kouta heard the door close and collapsed onto his bed, letting the tears fall. Damn him, damn everybody. Why could he never get it right? He was always hurting people. He hated it...why couldn't he just die already? He could... if he were strong. Why couldn't he be strong? Like... like him. But he didn't want to be like him.* "K'uso, k'uso! Koutarou no baka, I'm... I hate it."
~ A short while later, somewhere on the schools grounds ~
Remus had no idea where he was. After leaving his dorm room he'd wandered aimlessly, tears clouding his vision, until he calmed down enough to notice that he was hopelessly lost. Sitting on the stone steps to one of the school's other buildings, the art dorms he thought… maybe… he studied his nails, hoping for some sign to tell him what to do.
Mamoru hurried out of the Dorms, carrying a ton of art folders and various books in his arms. He had to hurry, he was already late! He rushed down the stairs, not looking where he was going and tripped on his trousers, falling forward, books scattering. "Mah ne!" he cried, "No fair!"
"Gah!!" Remus jumped to his feet as half a ton of books fell onto his head, scattering pages everywhere. "Are you ok?" he asked, spying a boy sprawled out on the floor, as he moved to help him up.
"Mah ne! I'm so clumsy! Gomen, ne? Gomen nasai!" Mamoru stuttered as he jumped up. He blushed as he started up (and up) at the tall, very tall, boy in front of him wearing... a pink t-shirt? He giggled slightly but bent down and started picking up his books quickly. "I didn't mean to drop my books on your head." He smiled brightly, "My name's Mamoru, Aonuma Mamoru desu. Yoroshiku!" He bowed briefly, careful not to drop his books.
Remus grinned brightly at the shorter boy, rubbing his head slightly, "Ah, don't worry about it, not much to damage in there anyway." He held his hand out to be shaken, "I'm Remus Black. Nice to meet you, kirameki."
Mamoru lifted an eyebrow, still grinning widely. "Kirameki? That's so... erm, yeah." He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and held out his own hand. "Hey I guess, I'm new here." He bowed over the hand that now held his. "Erm... konnichiwa!"
Remus bounced slightly, "Yup, kirameki! Glitter-glitter. Do you like glitter? It's so pretty and sparkly!" He pulled the younger boy into an impromptu twirl, "Konnichiwa, to you too. I'm new as well. I just got here from England this morning!"
Mamoru smiled as he was whisked around, quickly placing his books down before the other boy could reach him. "Mah, ne Remus. Yay! I've made a friend already! Kouta-chan's going to be so jealous!"
Remus stilled t the name, "Kouta?" Surely this kind, sweet boy couldn't be a friend of that... wanker... he had to share a room with?
Mamoru grinned widely. "Hai! Shinohara Koutarou, he's my cousin. Have you met him, ne? That would be so cool! You could be our shared friend! Wai! This is great!"
"Uhh, yeah. Kouta-kun's my room mate." Remus didn't seem too happy about that, but quickly shook it off, reverting to his formerly hyper self and hugging the smaller boy enthusiastically, "Yup yup, shared friends!"
Mamoru frowned, seeing the slight look of discomfort, and shook his head. Oh no, Kouta hadn't done something already had he? "What did he do to you Remus?" Mamoru took himself out of Remus' arms and looked at the taller boy quizzically. "Tell me, onegai."
"Oh, he was just grouchy when I woke him up" Remus replied airily, it wasn't quite a lie after all.
Mamoru closed his eyes and could clearly see how Kouta would react to be woken up. He sat down on the steps and pulled Remus down with him, enveloping his new friend in a hug. "Kouta is... Kouta is difficult. He's been hurt, really hurt. Just give him time, he's always better in the morning. He just... his nightmares drive him back to that time and he can't differentiate between now and then... Don't judge him just on tonight, ne Remus-san?"
Remus looked down at the top of Mamoru's head, a bittersweet smile twisting his lips, perhaps he was right. Remus had never been a fan of judging people before he really knew them anyway, it was what had happened to him back home, after all. "Ok Mamoru-chan. Uhh..." he scratched his head sheepishly, "You don't know the way back to Ongaku Dorm do you? I'm kinda lost."
Mamoru looked down at his watch and all-but squeaked. "Mah ne!! I'm late! I'm late! What am I going to do? Oh no!" Mamoru sprung up and grabbed his books and Remus' sleeve and ran in the general direction of Ongaku Dorm. He pointed wildly. "Go down there and turn right, ne? I'll see you later! Don't be too hard on Kouta-chan!" He turned around and started sprinting to the main building hoping his art teacher wouldn't be too hard on him when he turned up half an hour late.
Remus gave the boy a half-hearted wave, giggling slightly at his panic, before steeling himself to face Kouta once more.
~Meanwhile, back at Ongaku Dorms~
His head hurt, a deep headache had spread and now he couldn't move, at all. It just... he couldn't. His body ached, his eyes burned and he didn't want to move an inch. He knew his eyes were probably red and his hair would be wet and wild but he just couldn't get up enough energy or emotion to care. He felt too spent. He just didn't care anymore.
Hurrying in the direction Mamoru had pointed him, Remus tried to think of some way to apologise for running out like a... well, like a girl, he supposed, without taking all the blame for the actions. Lost in thought he failed to notice his arrival outside the dorm room until he almost walked into the door. Taking a final, deep breath he twisted the handle and pushed the door inwards, only to be amazed by the sight before him. Kouta looked... breathtaking.
Kouta twisted around on the bed, unaware that his shirt had risen up, and squeezed his eyes shut. He didn't hear the door open and didn't realise that someone had entered and was now staring at him.
Remus knew he should move, should shut the door, should make his presence known, but he couldn't. There was no way he was going to take his eyes off Kouta, not with that mesmerising glimpse of pale skin. Not when the other boy was so heartrendingly beautiful. Remus knew he was pretty of course, everyone told him so, but in all his life he'd never seen anything that came anywhere near as close to divine beauty as Kouta in this state.
Kouta eventually breathed a sigh and managed to sit up, pulling down his shirt and leaning up against the headboard. He looked around the room and noticed Remus standing near the door. "I... ano... gomen ne, Remus-san. I didn't mean, I was just... gomen nasai." He lowered his head, he couldn't take the hating glance Remus was sure to send his way. He wouldn't be able to take it.
Remus blinked, snapped out of his trance at the sound of Kouta's voice, and remembered to breathe. "I... uh... I... huh?" Oh yeah, reeeeeeeeal articulate Remus! the Brit berated himself, glad that Kouta already thought he was an idiot. You couldn't think anyone lower than your lowest expectations of them, after all
Kouta blinked at the sound of Remus' stuttering. Great, he hates you so much he can't even speak to you. "I... eto... gomen nasai Remus-san!" He exclaimed, squeezing his eyes closed again, forcing away the tears that wanted to come back. He couldn't show any weakness, he couldn't!
It was then that Remus noticed the dried tear tracks on the other boy's cheeks. Had he caused them? "You've been crying, Kouta-kun," he whispered, crossing the small room and grasping Kouta's chin with gentle fingers. Impulsively he leaned forward and kissed away the glimmering droplets forming beneath closed lashes.
Kouta gasped and jerked his head back, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He reached a hand up to his face, gently tracing where Remus' kisses had landed. "Why... why did you do that?" he whispered uncertainly. "How can you do that after what I said to you?"
Remus blushed a little himself, he didn't know why he'd done it... "It just felt right," he smiled a little uncertainly, "It just felt right."
"I..." Kouta turned his head away briefly. "No one's ever... done anything like that, for me, before. Arigato, Remus-kun."
Remus smiled a little, noting the switch from '-san' to '-kun', and liking it. "You're welcome Kouta-kun," he pressed a light kiss to the boy's forehead. "Maybe we should get some sleep, huh?" he asked, moving away to his own bed and stripping off the outer layer of clothing, after giving his companion a brief hug.
"Iie!" Kouta quickly followed the taller boy, clambering by his side. "I can't sleep alone, not again. Onegai Remus-kun? Can I sleep with you, onegai? I won't... I'll just lay beside you. Please?"
"Uhhh... ok." Remus smiled at the other boy, feeling like he might actually be seeing the real Kouta for the first time. "You can sleep beside me Kouta-kun, just don't nick all the covers, 'kay?"
He blushed and looked at his feet. "I won't, domo arigato Remus-kun." He smiled slightly and shifted from foot to foot. "Am I okay wearing what I am now? Or, ano, do you want me to wear something else? Trousers or something else?"
Grinning, Remus looked down at the gorgeous young man before him, then at his own attire, "Nope, you're ok with what you've got. It's more than I have anyway. Do you... um... do you mind if we keep the light on?" his voice dropped to a barely audible whisper for the last part, as if revealing some shameful secret, "I'm afraid of the dark."
Kouta grinned for the first time that evening. "Iie, Remus-kun, I'm afraid of the dark too."
Pleased by the smile, Remus hugged his friend tightly before clambering into his bed, indicating for Kouta to do the same.
Kouta blushed but carefully lifted the covers and lay down, as far from Remus as he could get. He lay on his back, just staring at the ceiling for a while as he listened to Remus settling down. How was he going to get to sleep?
Remus frowned slightly as Kouta settled so far away from him, uncomfortably aware of the space between them, and lost in memories of the last boy he'd shared a bed with. Sighing softly he moved closer to Kouta and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, just to keep warm, he told himself.
Kouta's eyes widened as he felt Remus' arms enshroud him and he looked sideways at the other boy. He sighed briefly and, although he would never admit it, snuggled deeper into the protective arms around him. He felt so safe like this. He closed his eyes and was asleep within seconds. Safe, warm dreams, involving a certain tall and glitter-crazed room mate.
See, wasn't that worth reading?